Hello from me

Hi there everyone, welcome to my blog!

My aim from this blog is to share my experiences with mental health, in the hopes to help people understand what mental health really means, how we can look after ourselves and our friends when they are feeling a little overwhelmed in this big, crazy world, but above all just to let people going through their internal battles know that there is always someone there to listen.

So here goes…

First, a bit about me. My name is Rebecca, I am a 21 year old student studying Psychology with Sport and Exercise Science in Exeter. Despite the southern location of my uni, I am in fact a proud northerner! I have always aspired to help people in my life, my motto kind of being the impact we can make for others is far greater than what we can make for ourselves, but studying psychology has really made me aspire to do that in a mental health sense, so I can hopefully someday help people through times when they are feeling at their most vulnerable, or even find a method to help beat those times when our heads are being nasty! For now though, I want to raise awareness about mental health particularly from young people’s point of view and educate the world on how we can look after one another as well as ourselves.

Apologies if the content today is not as planned as I’d like it to be, but I hope it comes across as real and from the heart. I really wanted to start this blog as the date today is a poignant one for me.

4 years ago today I lost my best friend, my mum, to cancer. She was my biggest supporter, someone who gave everything she had into being a loving mother, but above all she was the only person I felt I could share my worries with who would understand and be able to help. Losing her has left a gap in my life that can never be filled.

So I guess the main thing I want to talk about today is grief, and how despite some peoples expectations and theories I am not done grieving! Losing someone so close to you is something no one can comprehend until they experience it, my hope for everyone is that they never do. I think young people in particular find the concept difficult to understand, which is in no way their fault as no one should have to lose someone at a young age. However for those of us that do, we may feel pressure to act and be a certain way soon or even a long time after that person is gone, which really isn’t helpful or fair.

For me, I love sharing memories about my mum. I think people are quite often scared to ask about what she was like and if we ever had any of the situations other people experience with their mum’s, but honestly the time I feel saddest is when I feel left out of those conversations. Although she’s not here anymore I still have a mum, she’s just watching over me from another place.

Another expectation may be that the person will be just the same as they were before (or perhaps even completely different). I often feel and felt like I was expected to act in the same way to certain situations as I would have before, or in the same way my peers would have. To push these behaviours before the person is ready in their grieving process is something I believe can cause a persons mental health to spiral. Talking to the person will help clear up how exactly they are feeling at the time, which goes for further down the line too when the fact they are grieving may not be the first thing that comes to mind. The loss of a parent has made me feel both more mature because I feel I have seen more of life, but also less so because I don’t have a very influential person to guide me anymore. It’s a tough balancing act but luckily having friends and family to talk to has helped me in many situations, however there are always some that only a mother could really understand.

Above all, be kind. If you are grieving don’t rush yourself, its ok to have days where you feel you need to sit and reflect on the person you have lost. I don’t do this enough, perhaps in the fear of upsetting myself, but these times help us remember the happiness the person brought and the life lessons they taught us. There are many creative ways to do this which I may explore in a future blog as this is something I would like to do more of in my grieving process.

And for those of you that know someone who has lost a loved one, hug them, tell them that person would be proud of them for the little things in life, share advice from your own equating loved one, but above all… listen. That will make anyone’s day brighter, I can pretty much guarantee it.

Sorry it’s been brief, I will have much more planned content for my next blog but I hope this one has given you a little snippet of who I am and what my blog will be about. If you have any questions for me or things you would like me to explore please feel free to comment.

Thank you for your time lovelies, I hope your life is happy and full of love.

Lots of love,

Becca xx